How to Talk to Kids After Tragic Events - Gently Navigating Fear and Safety

As parents, our deepest instinct is to protect our children - their safety, their sense of calm, their belief that the world is good and kind.

So when something awful happens - something that shakes us to the core - it’s natural to want to shield them completely. To turn off the news, to hold them tight, and to wish it all away.

But kids are perceptive. They overhear hushed conversations. They see our faces change. They pick up on fear, even if we try to hide it.

And that’s why it’s important to talk to them. Gently. Honestly. Reassuringly.

What to Say (and What Not To)

You don’t need to go into graphic detail or share anything age-inappropriate. In fact, less is more. A simple explanation like:

“Something sad happened where some people got hurt. The police and helpers are making sure everyone is safe now. If you have questions, you can ask me.”

Let them guide the conversation. Some kids will have a million questions. Others might just need a cuddle. Follow their lead.

And if they ask, “Could that happen to me?” - answer honestly, but with reassurance:

“That kind of thing is extremely rare, especially here in Australia. There are lots of grown-ups whose job it is to keep us all safe, and they’re very good at it.”

Australia Is a Safe Place

It’s worth remembering, and reminding your child, that Australia has some of the strictest gun laws in the world. Events like this are incredibly uncommon here.

That doesn’t mean fear isn’t valid, but it does mean we can help our kids hold onto a sense of safety and trust in the world around them.

We don’t need to pretend that bad things never happen. But we can frame it in a way that reminds them: they are loved, they are safe, and we are here.

Signs Your Child Might Be Struggling

After events like this, kids might:

• Act clingier than usual
• Seem quieter or more withdrawn
• Ask repetitive questions
• Experience sleep issues or nightmares
• Regress to earlier behaviours (e.g., bedwetting)

All of this is normal. Their brains are trying to make sense of something big and confusing. Offer extra love, comfort, and routine. Don’t worry about “fixing it” - just be present.

Practical Tips to Help Kids Feel Safe Again

Stick to routines – They bring comfort and predictability.

Limit media exposure – Even hearing adults talk about scary things can heighten anxiety.

Use grounding activities – Fidget tools, sensory play, movement breaks, or a weighted blanket can help calm nervous systems.

Give them a role – Helping can restore a sense of agency. Drawing pictures, writing kind notes, or lighting a candle can be healing.

And Don’t Forget About You

If you’re feeling rattled too, that’s okay. We’re human. We can’t pour from an empty cup.

Take breaks from social media. Reach out to friends. Cry if you need to. Then come back to your child with the steady reassurance they need most:

“We’re going to be okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”

If your family is feeling fragile this week, know that you're not alone.

Big feelings don’t need to be fixed. They need to be felt, and met with warmth.

Let’s keep holding each other gently.

With love and calm,
Jody x

This blog is for informational and supportive purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical, psychological, or trauma-informed advice. If you or your child are experiencing distress, please seek help from a qualified health professional or mental health practitioner. You’re not alone, and support is available.