Parenting Through Invisible Disabilities

You Can’t See It, But It’s There

This week is Invisible Disabilities Week, and I wanted to take a moment to shine a light on something that doesn’t always look like it needs one.

Because in my family, we live with invisible disabilities every single day. Autism. ADHD. OCD. Anxiety. Depression. They are as real as any broken leg or hearing aid - but unlike a cast or a cane, you don’t always see them. And that’s exactly the problem.

People often assume that because a child “looks fine,” they must be fine. But what they don’t see is the mental gymnastics it takes for my kids to get through a day. The sensory overwhelm that builds up like a pressure cooker. The quiet panic attacks. The masking. The meltdowns that follow hours or days of holding it all in.

What they don’t see is me, sitting in the car, gently coaxing my child to take just one more step into the school gates - or not. The missed events. The tears behind closed doors. The resilience it takes just to show up.

What Are Invisible Disabilities, Anyway?

According to the Invisible Disabilities Association, these are chronic conditions that aren’t immediately obvious to others but still significantly impact daily life. They include things like mental illness, chronic fatigue, sensory processing disorders, and neurological differences like autism and ADHD.

They can affect cognition, communication, energy levels, pain, emotional regulation - even things like how someone walks, talks, or learns. And yet, because they’re not visible, people often question them. Or worse - ignore them altogether.

“But They Seem Fine to Me…”

That phrase. We’ve all heard it.

And every time someone says it, I feel this ache in my chest. Because what they’re really saying is: “I don’t believe you.” As a parent, there’s nothing harder than watching your child struggle and be judged for it.

When an autistic child is overwhelmed in a shopping centre and starts melting down, it’s not a tantrum. It’s a nervous system in crisis.

When a child with ADHD can’t sit still or finish homework, it’s not laziness. It’s executive dysfunction.

When a teen with depression sleeps all day or shuts out the world, it’s not defiance. It’s survival.

These are not character flaws. They’re disabilities. And just because you can’t see them, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

We’re Not Asking for Pity. Just Understanding.

My kids don’t need fixing. They need support. They need compassion. They need adults who believe them, listen to them, and adjust the environment instead of expecting them to push through pain, anxiety, and sensory overload just to keep up appearances.

As a neurodivergent parent of neurodivergent kids, I’m asking you to trust what you can’t see. To sit with us in the messy moments. To hold back your assumptions and lean into empathy.

What You Can Do This Week

Invisible Disabilities Week is about awareness - but more importantly, it’s about action. Here’s how you can show up:

• Believe someone when they say they’re struggling, even if they seem "fine" on the outside.
  
  
• Make space for accommodations - in schools, workplaces, public spaces, and online.
  
  
• Teach your kids about invisible differences - so the next generation grows up with more understanding than judgment.
  
  
• Uplift neurodivergent voices - especially those of kids, teens, and parents living it daily.

Final Thoughts

I’m so proud of my kids. Not because they “cope” or “keep up” - but because they show up as themselves in a world that isn’t built for them.

This week, I hope we can all remember:
You don’t have to see a disability for it to be valid.
You don’t have to understand it fully to show kindness.
And sometimes, the people holding it together the most are the ones struggling the hardest.

Here’s to all the families walking the invisible path. I see you. I believe you. And you are not alone.

With love and fierce advocacy,
Jody
Neurodivergent mum of three incredible kids
Founder of Sensory Oasis for Kids